It Could Always Be Worse: Role Reversals
by Shaun Garin
Summary: Weird doesn't just follow Dr. Tommy Oliver. A short tale of two worlds that shouldn't mix, and the hilarious repercussions of when it happens.


It Could Always Be Worse: Role Reversals

Written by Shaun Garin

* * *

It was a meeting that wasn't supposed to happen.

Really.

I mean, Yuuno supposed he could have landed in that city with that abnormally strong magical signature, but he just had to follow his nose and discover the place called Mahora Academy.

Breaching the wards, he bounded into the area looking for the Jewel Seed.

* * *

Negi Springfield had a normal day. Get up, prepare for his new job, try to look presentable even though he got off the train. Get mobbed by girls on the train. Blow up skirts. Meet a short tempered girl with bells in her hair. Blow off her clothing.

Bear Panties.

As such, he was moping on the steps when he heard a mysterious voice calling for him. So he followed it.

Like we said, it shouldn't have happened but it did.

* * *

Nanoha Takamachi had a normal day. Get up, admire how saccharine… okay, let's abort that thought right there.

Her morning began with the front door blowing out, plus part of the windows. What followed was nothing more than gratuitious violence as something resembling a demented sugar plum fairy attacked her house.

Nanoha was certain demented sugar plum fairies belonged in Juuban where the GOOD monsters were. Not in Unimari. But her brother and sister did a credible job fighting it off with the family art.

Wow, look at them go.

Oh wait, Miyuki's getting tentacled. Or rooted. Time to be Nanoha and proclaim, "Drop Miyuki-neechan you… you meanie!"

The fairy-thing attacked her. Magic reacted.

Seconds later, a gem that wasn't supposed to be in her possession was in it. And no, it wasn't a Jewel Seed.

* * *

Yuuno woke up as a ferret. Some things never changed.

* * *

Negi got attacked by a giant dust bunny. At least some things didn't change.

Though the proclamation of "I Negi Springfield accept the pact and… wait why am I doing this I'm already a mage!" wasn't the most inspiring use of a specific Raising Heart chant. At least he had the common sense to proclaim "Lyrical Magical Rastel Raskil Magister" before the thing introduced him to the floor of the gym where it was attacking him.

Evangeline didn't even go for Negi's blood that night. She was too busy killing herself laughing.

* * *

Nanoha had a strange encounter that day when she was headed into town that day. She noticed a boy with white hair and in a grey uniform. Clearly not a local since the local elementary schools all wore uniforms that looked like it belonged in a child's wardrobe.

He looked a pale gaze upon her and held out his hand and asked for the Star Crystal.

Nanoha was too busy trying to figure out if his eyes were old, beautiful, handsome or just plain STARING INTO YOUR SOUL when she almost handed him the Crystal.

That's when a girl in robes drop-kicked him. Or tried to. Hell her FOOT WAS ON FIRE. That says a lot.

* * *

Negi was certain that ermines couldn't talk if they weren't fairy ermines. But Yuuno talked. Quite a bit. About other worlds and stuff. He was also clearly surprised Earth had a thriving mage community and they didn't use math at all to cast spells.

Yuuno told him about the Jewel Seeds that had fallen to earth. Negi suggested they ask the Headmaster about it. Yuuno protested, said it was regulations they keep the normals out of it. Negi argued some more. Konoka served drinks. And Asuna, well, she kept muttering about how she wasn't going to suffer two guys in her room.

In the end, Negi and Yuuno crawled into Asuna's bed anyhow after spectacular hijinks in the bath.

* * *

If Nanoha's day didn't get any stranger, the new girl one Anya Cocolova transferred from WALES ENGLAND of all things was the girl who tried to drop-kick the white haired boy. She had broken up the fight, but it ended with a little sensation of being crispy around the edges.

Anya pulled Nanoha aside, much to Arisa and Suzuka's surprise, and told her outright she was a mage, and it was her responsibility for the Star Crystal she held. She didn't say why, only that it was too much for any normal untrained mage girl to handle.

Nanoha then told Anya that she didn't have magic.

Anya called BS and said she was more powerful than she was and the longer she held onto the Star Crystal, the more of a magical hickey it would have on her.

Nanoha ALMOST gave up the crystal. Almost.

* * *

Negi saved Nodoka from a bad fall the next day. He instantly earned her admiration.

* * *

Nanoha met up with the white haired boy again. She tried to convince him that it wasn't right to force people around by force. It didn't end well, but he merely flicked her forehead and told her to get stronger.

Negi then got attacked by a giant kitten. Chachamaru adopted it. In the process, he discovered Evangeline didn't like cats as she was allergic to them, despite Chachamaru's desire for one. Yuuno realized that Evangeline was the second person who felt RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL in the campus, the first being Negi.

Just how many mages were there in this tiny campus town?

* * *

Nanoha got a new transfer in, a boy named Inugami Kotaro who challenged her to a fight. Nanoha won, but by only accidentally showing him her panties when she kicked at him in a rather inadequate manner. Kotaro was too stunned by the statement of "Teddy bears?" before he got facerolled across the pavement.

* * *

Asuna sniffed. And searched for her bear panties which had been commandeered by yet ANOTHER talking animal. At least Yuuno seemed normal in comparison to Albert Chamonile.

* * *

Nanoha returned home to find two magical familiars waiting for her, a talking frog named Motsu and a Cat-Blob named Shichimi. It was told it was good "in a good way" by the frog, punctuated with a nya from Shichimi.

* * *

If it wasn't strange enough, Evangeline was a vampire. To put the damn cherry on top, a girl had come looking for the Jewel Seeds which had been making a regular appearance in Mahora Academy.

Chamo whistled loudly, calling her daring for her "bondage swimsuit".

The girl literally fell off the lamppost in shock.

Evangeline did too. But she was laughing too hard as the girl went from serious and focused to moe moe blushy stammering ogod why was she being perved on by a housepet?

* * *

Kotaro had decided arbitrarily that any mage who could beat her in single combat was a good enough rival, but she needed to train.

Thus being said, Nanoha was hurled out of her window at 5 in the morning.

Into a koi pond that Kotaro had dug.

Needless to say, Nanoha wasn't pleased and proceeded to perform bodily harm on Kotaro once she managed to get out of his arm lock.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Mahora, but for those up in the hills surrounding the expedition campsite, it was miserable since it was raining. Why was it raining in the hills and not in the campus? Blame a jewel seed.

As it stood, we learned a few things that day.

Kaede is a Goddamn Ninja.

The Fuuka and Fumika duo were more competent than we thought.

Asuna could not find a chupacabra if it was twenty feet in front of her.

Sidewinder is cold.

And Kaede was a GODDAMN NINJA.

The last was proven as Kaede, the last one with the most recent pactio with Negi, went and kicked some serious ass.

Arguably it was a good cover. I mean, Kaede maintained she wasn't a ninja and just getting badass ninja powers from a magic kiss was cool, right?

Yuuno was SURE she was a badass ninja.

Oh, and Chrono got a kunai up a very uncomfortable place when he appeared in the girls bath.

* * *

Nanoha was having one of those days when she went on vacation with her family, Suzuka, Arisa with tagalongs Kotaro and Anya. We learned a few things that day too.

Nanoha's dad was seriously fucked up scar-wise.

Magical girls should never go on vacation: it increases chances of getting attacked.

Kotaro has no shame in the bath. He also has a tail.

Suzuka can't stop staring at him when he flicks his ears.

And Anya has massive problems with women and boobs.

The last was proven when a woman named Chigusa appeared and decided that the Star Crystal was just what she needed to unseal a 800 year old demon and put it under her control.

Needless to say, the white haired boy appeared and totally fucked it up. Much to Kotaro's displeasure who wanted to protect his women. Or so he claimed at least.

Nanoha wanted to know his name. He gave it. Fate.

* * *

The girl was known as Fate.

A poetic irony would be noted as while Nanoha was talking at roughly the same time with a boy named Fate, Negi was talking with a girl named Fate who had suffered injury when she got too close to a Jewel Seed monster and had her arm ripped off.

The magic healers did their thing, repairing it. Chrono wanted to arrest her. Asuna politely told him where to shove his staff. He brandished it menacingly. Asuna smacked him with a paper fan, thus ending the conversation.

Fate escaped the infirmary before she could be fully healed. Thus leading up to the events in the next following few paragraphs.

* * *

Said white haired boy who was also named Fate suffered a similar fate when his arm was lopped off in a fight. The sprite was sealed away into another gem and Nanoha panicked when the limb landed with a fleshy thunk.

He used his own arm and patted her head. IT DID NOT ENDEAR HIM THAT MUCH.

Nanoha pitched a fit but was relieved there was no blood. But the simple white blank space between the severed limb was harrowing enough.

Suzuka fainted. Arisa surprisingly held on and called for doctors.

It was then that Nanoha revealed that yes she had incredible powers and healed his arm. With two out of thee crystal pieces, she was toting enough power to rival her not-quite-existent Blaster Three abilities.

It was then that Anya revealed she accidentally released it, and she had made her way to Japan to fix the problem.

Nanoha gave her SUCH A PINCH for that.

* * *

Natsume and Chizune found a fox kit in the rain, injured. It turned out to be a very hurt Arf who lost control of her transformation and became a naked woman on the floor.

With amnesia. Some things never changed.

* * *

By now, all of the Jewel Seeds had been collected, and Negi was ready to fight Fate who seemed to be ever-flustered whenever she fought him. Maybe it was the new shade of pink that his lightning and thunder spells seemed to take on, but he blamed that on Raising Heart.

It was dark when he met the blonde girl out on the rooftops. Dark, scary, and well, to be perfectly honest, if this were a normal timeline he'd be fighting Evangeline and Chachamaru, not armed to the teeth in an attempt to fight a kid his age.

Fate appeared one last time, and she and Negi traded words. And then blows.

And the Negi caught her in a trap on the bridge, and Fate tried to get free but failed. That's when her mom intervened and made this an international incident.

* * *

Day five in the strange other world that wasn't Unimari City. Everyone was there, but it was created by the Jewel Seeds which had united and totally messed the city up.

Nanoha was certain she saw a Chupacabra lurking in the shadows when she went to the garden with far too many huge veggies.

Walking into the long since repaired café, somehow managing to miss Kyouya and Shinobu making out on the couch, she flopped down next to Fate who was snoozing quietly. He looked so cute like that, she had to admit.

So cute, she had to give him a kiss to wake him up.

But when she leaned in, Fate muttered something along the lines of "death ponies" and she paled before stumbling away.

Fate allowed himself a smirk before he continued to sleep.

* * *

The Garden of Time was big, armed to the teeth and full of stuff. It experienced terminal meltdown as Negi marched all 31 students into the garden and proceeded to activate every pactio possible. Out of the 31, there was about 2 dud cards, ironically Asuna and Evangeline.

Despite the lack of giant swords and ridiculous levels of ice magic, 3-A prevailed against the power of Precia's golem army and arrested her.

Yes the floor gave way. Chachamaru caught them on the way down. Oh sure, Precia raged and raged, but she's bound to get help.

The disease was treatable in the Old Country, and so, with the help of a Mysterious Mage ™ which managed to get them all out safely, they sent the pair to Magica Mundus.

Negi saw his father for the second time in his life.

And learned he had a mother.

* * *

After spectacular hijinks that managed to be both fulfilling and energy consuming, the Star Crystal was finally assembled and took over Anya. It was here that Nanoha shone, fighting hard to defeat the insidious power that took over Anya with a spell learned from Fate of all people.

She learned she really liked beam spam that day.

A woman came to break them free from the rest of the illusionary space, and she told them to go to Mahora. She was tall, elegant and like a queen, and she took Shichimi and Motsu with her as she vanished into the depths. She called herself the Black Rose Baron.

With the Star Crystal sealed up, Fate turned to leave. Nanoha gave him one of her hair ribbons. He left with it tied around his wrist, and his jacket slung over her shoulders.

Anya decided to go to Mahora. Nanoha decided to follow. And everyone else did.

* * *

"I'm Negi Springfield."

"I'm Nanoha Takamachi."

From a distance, Kotaro looked over at Fate who had reappeared. "Hey, your girlfriend's macking on the Western Mage."

Fate made a non-commital grunt. Fate, the blonde, fidgeted as it was time for her to go, to be heard, not just suppressed anymore by her crazed mother.

Kotaro chuckled. And Anya kicked him in the shins.

"You know," said Negi as the pair chatted, "I can't help but feel that this would be better suited to you," and he held out Raising Heart.

"That's funny… I thought this would suit you better," said Nanoha as she held out a bracelet with a gemstone.

Negi stared at it. "Where'd you get it?"

"A woman gave it to me." And she placed it in his hands. "She was very kind."

"I see…" Negi placed Raising Heart into Nanoha's hands. "Take it. As my gift to you."

And thus everything came full circle.


End file.
